The mentors coffee this past thursday was amazing; it was great to hear what everyone is and plans on doing at their internships. I see that everyone is hard at work and that we are each starting to find our bearings at our respective agencies.
While traditionally the blog is dedicated to whatever topic it is we spoke about in seminar, this week was not a normal seminar. So, what should we speak about? Something that I have always had difficulty with, especially being an American and living in this country, is the role individualism plays when we are in positions where we are being mentored. Mentorship is not a new phenomenon, however, how do we reconcile how important mentorship is when we live in a society that highlights and often times prefers that we speak about individual work and sacrifice?
In my personal experience, I know that if it weren't for my parents, many of my friends, peers, teachers, bosses, professors, and informal and formal mentors, such as Trish Farley at Common Justice, I would not have been able to accomplish the things I have thus far. I constantly acknowledge the efforts of these individuals, and make sure that credit is given where credit is due. For me, it is clear that our successful journeys were not journeys that were traveled in solitude- we had guidance, we had support, we had people rooting for us and that believed in us. This was not a one man/woman struggle.
Than why is it when we refer to people who are in need of serious help, like many of the individuals we work with at our Vera agencies, we (as in the general system and society, not we the Vera Fellowship), expect them to get out of the "hole" they are in by themselves. We blame poor people for being poor, we blame victims of violence for being victims (or try to make them look like offenders), we blame people who are molested for being molested. The discourse, especially in more recent debates and news articles given the elections, we hear the word entitlements, handouts, fee stuff, free ride, playing victim, and so on. There is a sense that people who are in need are there because of there own doing, but that even when they want to get out, we shouldn't help them because they should do it by themselves. The "American Dream" story of hard work and success isn't one of collective effort, it is one of individualism and personal sacrifice.
Thus, there seems to be this huge contradiction when it comes to how we become successful. On one hand, we tend to accept and acknowledge that without the help of certain individuals we would not have made it "this far". On the other, giving help to those who need it the most will not get them out of the dark place they're in and so they shouldn't get it. It's their own individual hard work that will, just as the hard work of the successful was what made them successful.
We all know, especially being Vera Fellows, the value of mentorship and the extra help we get - through our stipend, the seminar, being part of ISP, our three professors, and so on. Yet, our work, which revolves helping those who need it most, and sometimes involves mentorship, is rejected by particular systems and political parties, because if someone wants to get out of poverty, they can do it on their own. So, I pose these questions:
1) How does the emphasis on American individualism overshadow the role mentors play in a persons narrative of success?
2) Is it possible to reconcile these two worlds, of mentorship/guidance/collective effort and individual work and sacrifice, and if so, how?
3) How can we demonstrate and change the discourse on how valuable mentorship and collective efforts are when it comes to working with populations such as the impoverished, and highlight that programs that give them aid is not giving them a "free ride" or taking away from personal responsibility?
Thanks everyone, and I know opinions on this may differ, but I believe this is a conversation is a good one to have, and a necessary one, because I am always at odds with American individualism and my own recognition of the role of mentorship and acknowledging that without all the help I've received, I would not be sitting with you all at our thursday seminars.
I end on this note, and hope that you reflect on the words of Elizabeth Warren when thinking about the questions -
12 comments:
Thank you for your insightful and relevant post Nico!
I will take this post one question at a time. To answer the first question, the emphasis on American individualism does indeed stump the role of mentors in our everyday lives. Speaking from personal experience, I was never really willing to open up to a mentor so that she or he might help me in my struggles. Rather I enjoyed learning the hard way, watching opportunities pass me by because I was too stubborn to ask for help. However, I have found a solution to leveling out American Individualism, and that is through passion. We all know that if you are passionate about something you are more likely to give it your all. What has worked for me is finding some passion in my work so that when I am having trouble finishing a project or applying for a scholarship, I feel confortable leaning on the people who will help me reach my end goal. It is not easy but it definitely has worked for me.
In a sense, my passion argument answers the second question because in order to let mentors assist you, you need to find a balance between how much your mentor can do for you and how much you are willing to let your mentor help you. In order to truly reconcile this there needs to be mutual trust that your best interest is at hand. It is not however, entirely up to you to do this legwork to ensure your best interest. The role of the mentor is to be honest and help you through the struggle while simultaneously helping you grow from mistakes you make along the way. Collective effort must be present and a mentorship has truly gone wrong at the point where either you are trying twice as hard as you mentor or your mentor is trying just as hard as you to see your goals come true. The take home point here is that there must be a balance.
Finally I arrive at the last question. Whenever we attempt to change discourse or perception on a certain issue it does take a long period of time and never ending effort. You give the specific example of changing discourse revolving around the impoverished. The first answer I have here is for people that find success to remain humble. When asked “how did you make it out of the struggle” to respond “my mentor held my hand and refused to let go” would be one way to change the discourse. Another way would be to view the impoverished population for what they are; under privileged. The reason people frame these programs as “free rides” is due to the fact that they feel these individuals chose to live this way and that it may be some how possible for them to alleviate themselves from these conditions. The sad reality is that these individuals did not choose this for themselves and have a very hard time alleviating themselves than one may think.
Rapping up, the key to combating American individualism is to be active in our approaches for social justice. This is what the Vera seminar and blog this semester has been about and I thank you all for tuning in! I cannot wait to see what next semester has in store.
Thanks for the important questions, Nico.
I have always been a pretty stalwart supporter of the collective effort—the community; the team. Maybe it comes from my sports background and the way I was raised, I’m not sure, but I have oft felt at odds with our individualistic culture. The “community,” for example, is a construct that has always fascinated me: How we all come together, support one another, share the same basic values. I’m not sure I adhere totally to one particular view, though.
To answer your questions:
1) I think we all know there is one particular party in this country that is a proponent of those views—the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” group. I’m not so sure it overshadows a stance on mentors, but it does overshadow the influence of the structural reality of the country and its problems (i.e. institutional forces and policies and laws). I do feel like the apprentice-mentor model is alive and well in many societies, individualistic or not. In one way or another we are all taught how to do something by someone. But, what actually is “individualism” and how does that affect that relationship? That’s very psychological: I see it as an identity one assumes, influenced by one’s locus of control over their life. Maybe part of it is the way we come to see our good (or bad) fortune… either personally or externally influenced. I think the answer to your question is that it is very personal. For example, from what I achieve or gain from my internship, how much do I account for that as coming from my own hard work, dedication etc v. the mentorship I was given and the joint effort? For me, it’s a mix of both, a mutually dependent combination.
2) With that said, I believe we are all greatly shaped by the people around us. We are, as I think Elizabeth Warren’s quote shows, an interdependent group of people in reality. I would also put forth that the particular field we (Vera fellows) are working in (nonprofit/social justice-esque agencies) require a collective group effort. We are all working toward improving the human condition in some way—there is no bottom line, no personal goal (other than passion and justice, maybe), just a unified effort. Can there be collectivism within an individualistic framework? And vice-versa? Maybe they can coexist and it isn’t so dichotomist, even if one societal thought prevails over the other.
3) I wish I knew the answer to that question. I think it’s an ingrained cultural belief for many—to put oneself before the “group” and to be “self-reliant.” Thus, anything that resembles “dependence” is immediately rebuked. And, as Andre shows, it will take a large effort and a long time. Again, I think the field we are working in (and the general political alliance that comes with it) is distanced from such beliefs… but for such a field to proliferate, financial and/or political backing is often needed. There does come a time when common sense, backed by research and demonstration projects, challenges these beliefs (I think prison education and alternatives to incarceration, as examples). Efforts like these support group goals.
I do have to echo Andre's important points on passion. That's a very personal idea, but when it can be shared with others and coalesced, then it becomes a joint effort.
Thanks for this wonderful post, Nicho. I am very glad that you have brought up a topic that relates to current political debates as well as to issues of social justice. As you might have already know, as a hardcore Liberal, I have many strong opinions about the concept of American Individualism.
The phrase, we built that, has been used by the Republican Party as its primary political slogan since the late presidential election. The underlining meaning of this phase closely alliances with the idea of American Individualism. Those who endorse this hybrid product of political propaganda and social philosophy came to believe that their achievements and successes are solely the products of their own efforts, and that they do not owe any thing to any one, including the government. In turns, they expect others; especially those who struggle at the bottom of social ladder, to dig themselves out of life obstacles. This outlook of personal success is fundamentally flawed in that it omits the importance of many collective efforts, including government assistance, public services, and social networks. Some even attempt to take this viewpoint to the extreme by advocating against the very existence of a tax system (even though their life routines heavily depended on many tax-funded services on daily basis), while others are calling for the elimination of nearly all government intervention in people’s life. It is unfortunate to see that some people have attempted to legitimize poverty and social inequality by manipulating the concept of American Individualism. Under this distorted version of American Individualism, socioeconomically disadvantaged people are condemned for the lack of effort on their parts. The alliance of Social Darwinism and American Individualism has turned the concept of American Individualism into a dreadful message—you are on your own!
However, as Nicho pointed out, none of us could achieve our current accomplishment without the help and support of others. Since the day of our birth, we rely on the care and support of our family; as we get older, we need our friends, our teachers, and other members of the society to learn about how the world around us operates. We were never fully alone, and how could we ever justifiably attribute our personal success all to ourselves? I am not suggesting that individual endeavor is not an important component of personal success, however, it is impossible to separate the world of mentorship, guidance, and collective effort from the world of individual work. Similarly, our valuable experiences in the Vera Fellowship are inalienable from the supports of our professors, mentors, and other supportive individuals at the agencies that we are interning at. Thanks to every single one of them, we now have the opportunity to witness the importance of social services. We know that those socially disadvantaged are not the free riders in the society; rather, they are the unfortunate ones who lacked the kind of collective supports and opportunities that those with great personal achievements had access to. Thus, it is important for us to defend the significance of collective and cooperative efforts, and stand firmly against the false perception American Individualism.
Hello Nico,
Great post! In regards to your questions:
1) I do believe that American individualism overshadows the role that mentors play on our lives. Because society is so focused on individuality and independence when it comes to achieving your goals, as Andre mentioned, sometimes, people are unwilling to open up to a mentor and let him/her guide them through their struggles. I feel that American individualism overshadows the role of mentors because it makes the mentees reuluctant to open up and share, in fear of appearing “weak” or that they “didn’t get their themselves” when it comes to achieving their goals. Personally, when I had my very “first” mentor back in high school, I was very reluctant to tell her what is going on in my life or let her help me, in fear of appearing weak, or seeming as though I couldn’t handle problems on my own. It was only until I opened up to her about a particular situation that I realized how resourceful mentors are. From that point on, I let all my mentors guide me because I have come to learn that they are always looking out for you and making sure that you succeed in whatever you are trying to accomplish. I love all my mentors because once we are able to find a common standing point, in regards to what we want achieved, we really become a team and continuously push and guide each other.
2)I do believe that it is possible to reconcile the two worlds between mentorship and individual work. I wholeheartedly agree with Andre’s answer, and the reconciliation is based on passion. Once the mentor and the mentee have a common goal to go after their passion, that is when they are truly able to work together and be as a resource to each other because they share a central focus. The focus is no longer on individualism. Instead, it is focused on achieving the goals and doing it the best way possible.
3)In regards to your third question, I honestly don’t know. I guess the only thing I can really think of is to find a way to change people’s mentality. Us as Vera Fellows, and even everyone who is successful in society could not be where they are today without the mentoring from another. We need to make people realize that everyone needs help, and teamwork does lead to success. In relation to your example to the impoverished, receiving aid is not a “free ride” because many people don’t choose to live this way. Instead, they do try to do everything they can to get out of it. In other situations, for those who are not in such circumstances, may still have trouble and need mentoring. It is a matter of changing others mentality and helping them realize that no one can succeed alone, without some type of guidance and support.
Thanks Nico for your extremely important blog. I agree with your whole heartedly in everything you wrote.
I think individualism is very important in regards to a person being (an individual) a unique person who aspires to be whatever that person wants to be and who works hard in their own way and through their own specific means to achieve, that which they aspire to achieve. I believe that when it comes to achieving our goals we must always remember that our own efforts, hard work and sacrifices are important, however we must also always remember the saying that, “it takes a village to raise a child.” This means that one person cannot do everything alone and that there are always many important people in a person’s life that influence, and guide a person through many stages in life. People like teachers, doctors, counselors, coaches and many others who in some way or another form a part of our development and everything we are and everything we learn.
I find this to be true in our nation’s history and wealth. As Americans we must always remember that our nation was founded, built and maintained on the hard labor of many individuals. No one person or group founded and raised this nation on their own. It was the job of many Americans working together to achieve a common goal, “The American Dream” that has made this nation such a great place to live.
In answer to your question I think individualism does not mean being alone or doing it alone but rather a person who does not depend on everyone else to do everything for them in order to achieve what he/she wants. I believe individualism is working together knowing what you want and maintaining your own individual identity as you work together towards the common goal. For many of us, like you stated previously, Nico, sometimes we have to do it alone because there are times when we reach out our hands in search of help only to find it very hard to for anyone to through us a rope in order for us to help ourselves climb out of the hole. I believe that most of us have the propensity to blame others for their misfortunes and we negate our own responsibilities as human beings to help others in times of need. We all make mistakes and we all want forgiveness and acceptance however we are not so generous when it comes to understanding others.
Not everyone can overcome a difficult situation on their own and not everyone can see their own potential without help and guidance. Mentorship, guidance and assistance are not a “free ride” but rather the extra push many of us need get up and over the hump.
I too, like Andre, have had a hard time opening up to mentors, counselors or anyone who might be willing to help. Though I’ve learned a lot from watching others, I always want to learn the hard way and on my own. I have, many times in my life been stubborn as well but I have come to understand lately that it is not so much that I am stubborn but rather that I was taught at an early age that in life everyone must learn to do things for themselves and on their own. I was taught that people who ask for and accept help are weak and that no one will seriously place any value on a person who must seek advice or guidance.
Unfortunately, in life we want to do things correctly but are afraid to seek guidance and we want to be successful in what we do but are afraid to make mistakes. There has to be a balance between individualism, mentorship and guidance so that we can learn make mistakes, improve, pay it forward and reap the rewards. It should not be that in life in order to succeed and be proud we must be strong, work hard but stand on our own two feet.( without crutches of course).
First and foremost, I want to applaud the professors and students for our mentor coffee. The professors did a great job organizing it and the students and I are so proud and appreciative for all that the mentors have done for all my fellow verans!
Nico your post is passionate, and you pose compelling questions that I hope I can answer. Nico I think that you have touched up on a lot of discontent that I have examined and have tried to answer myself. I think that before giving an answer to this question, we have to look at the invention and the culture of American individualism. Individualism is a huge part of American culture, which primarily refers to the pursuit of individual rather than common or collective interests. In other words, self-responsibility and individuality are at the heart of American culture. I remember taking a history course in 6th grade; during this course, I was first introduced to the American Dream. My teacher consistently referred to Benjamin Franklin as the man who invented the American dream as proof that self-help can create great wealth. She stressed that Benjamin Franklin came from a poor family and that he was one out of twelve kids. Moreover, she explained that he taught himself how to read, write and taught. My teacher ended out lesson on Benjamin Franklin saying "If he can do it so can you." Without a doubt, this stuck with me until I came to college. The American dream is constantly taught to younger children, in turn creating an embracement of the concept. The idea of the American Dream is rooted in the United States Declaration of Independence which proclaims that "all men are created equal" (leaving out women and people of color) and that they are "endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights" including "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. With this in mind, the general history of the American individualism leaves out people certain historical excluded and oppressed groups of individuals. Understanding the historical context and the background for individual in the United States plays a role in how we view it today and why many citizens do not critically analyze the American Dream idea.
To answer your first question, when we stress individualism so much, we forget the collectivity that occurs during the growth process. For example, if it was not for the janitor that cleaned up every inch of the school I would not have a study place. If it was not for the the teacher who taught me to count or the security officer who created a Safe Haven for me, I would not be in college. We tend to forget the collectivity that occurs in any success story. It is all those people who have contributed in the success of most individuals. To put differently, we all rely on each other—contrary to the Republican rhetoric to pull yourself up from your own bootstraps. With that being said, we must create safety nets for all individuals because our collective effort is so closely connected to all individuals. Lastly, I don't know how I can answer your last question. I think that before answering the question we have to look at who is being targeted in impoverished areas and so forth. Without asking those questions, I'm not sure how I can answer the posed question. In some ways, I think that we need to change the way we look at safety nets. Welfare, food stamps, and other forms of government based "help" have become such taboos and are looked at with shame. Unfortunately, individuals who are welfare and/or food stamps are stigmatized. With that being said I’m not sure if I’ve answered your questions but all in all I think that race and gender analyses is necessary!
I think I, like Joe, pull from my past playing team sports so community, society, working together, whatever you want to call it, is a large part of the way I have been raised. As for the American individualism and the role mentors play I think that the idea of individualism and people helping themselves has really become more prominent since the recession. Money is tight and people expect more from other people. Everyone is hurting so everyone has to pitch in that little bit more to make ends meet.
I think we need to fuse these two ideas together. Everyone needs some form of outside guidance, we can’t just go through life learning everything we need in our own fashion. Mentorship can help someone find their passion or skills they’ll need for the rest of their career. On the other hand I do see the importance of individualism. When Nico talks about pulling one’s self out of these situations and bettering yourself rather than taking free things it reminded me of something I have seen that almost opposite but yet still similar. I have friends I knew in high school who because of their parent’s connections to congressmen and other business people they got summer internships on Capitol Hill and businesses like Forbes. These kids have mediocre grades and yet they don’t do the work themselves to get these internships. Basically what I am saying is although mentorship is great and people need guidance, individualism and working hard to earn your keep is just as important.
I think the folks before me are on the right path with this one. It’s a tough question to come up with one perfect solution. Whatever the possible solution is it will take a lot of time and effort on behalf of both those who are receiving aid and the mentors themselves. People will need to talk proudly and openly about the success they have achieved and why they achieved it, who helped them, who gave them a chance to get back on their feet.
From the mentors’ corner…
I was deeply touched by the words of both Michelle and Minerva, who spoke of the haunting fear that asking for help would be construed as a sign of weakness. This brought me back to Stanley, frozen in the moment of smelling Maki Skosana’s hair, ashamed not because he had killed but because he was afraid. It also illustrates how strongly we are coopted by the environment; even though we may THINK that community is the gold standard, we FEEL that we should go it alone. As Foucault might say, we have internalized that mode of solitary confinement.
As someone who is now at the point in life where I feel an obligation to mentor others (students, younger colleagues, my children), I find it awfully difficult to know how much is too much and what is just right. This is the flip side of the mentee’s dilemma about how much help to accept. Sometimes I want to help someone so much that I find myself starting to usurp their agency and doing things for them that they should do for themselves. We learn from others but also learn from trying, and even failing, on our own. This is one of the reasons we give you that follow-up assignment for the Mentors Coffee, so that you are ”forced” to take initiative.Yep, it’s an oxymoron.
It would be very easy to talk about “rugged individualism” and its political implications, but since you referred to a “personal narrative,” I’ll answer your questions from this perspective.
Growing up, I was never one to reach out for help. As a matter of fact, similar to Michelle and Minerva, reaching out for help was a sign of weakness in my family. So whenever I had a problem, be it homework, a leg sprain, or a private issue, I was forced to reckon with it myself. Also, being the naturally inclined introvert, I had a very hard time accepting guidance from other people. I was scared: I would think, wrongfully so, that I was the sole cause of whatever my issue was, so I was solely responsible to patching it up. This was a strange dynamic that developed due to: (a) my family’s beliefs; and (b) our staunch belief in American individualism. If I was able to do things on my own, and I was successful, that made me even more of a success—like I was the mythical hero who triumphed over all adversity. But the idea itself—that we succeed or fail on our own bootstraps—is magical thinking.
In the end, no matter how much we foolishly cling to this idea of “rugged individualism,” somewhere along our path of life, we have, or will, accept help from other people. Technically, we’re accepting help right now. When we pay taxes, use public facilities like schools or libraries, or even when we use public transportation (bridges, buses, infrastructure, etc.) These are the simple things we do collectively, as part of an unspoken social contract, to benefit the lives of others. But this sort of collectivism is just the bare minimum. While individual hard work and sacrifice is respectable, we should never be afraid to take the hand that’s there to help us (provided in the forms of student loans, social welfare, etc.) Sadly, America has been snipping the lines of our “social safety net” little by little, while other European countries make more of an effort to help their disadvantaged populations. This stems from the homogenous composition of those countries (for example, Sweden). We’re more likely to help our neighbors if they look like us. Here in America, inborn problems like income inequality, racism, and a slew of other factors keep us from wanting to help each other.
Another thing that saddens me about this matter is how, as a nation, we’ve come to demonize “welfare”. Talk of a “social safety net” or “entitlements” is taboo, and to even utter the phrase “food stamps” leads to looks of contempt or unease. As Sylvie mentioned, America was not founded on “individualist” values. That America does not exist, and has possibly never existed. America was built on a spirit of collectivism, a spirit that led to the building of a nation. It was a spirit that eventually wove thirteen lone colonies into a fifty state union. Where has this collectivism gone? Has it dwindled to a small existence in soup kitchens and advocacy groups? Is it being crushed under the divisiveness that currently afflicts our nation?
I agree that individualism is a myth, whether it is celebrated in the founding narratives of the nation or fetishized in complete denial of how much collective work continuously benefits us (Amara's and Sally's ideas). But I, too, have a very hard time asking for help. And honestly, I'm not sure why. I think it is partly arrogance -- I can handle it! -- and partly laziness -- it is more work trying to get help from others.
I think we are trapped by the language here to a certain extent. Help sounds like asking for something, which easily translates into handouts, etc. I keep hoping that a language of collaboration and community will begin to shape our discussion of social problems. As you guys know, I've been teaching a seminar on Dickens and social justice. In all of his works, the chief evil is selfishness; the chief virtue is the selfless attention to others. And not just as some namby-pamby Christian virtue, but as social policy. As the Ghost of Christmas Present tells Scrooge, who was individually incredibly successful in business, his business should be his fellow man.
Hi All, I know it's already Thursday morning and we will be seeing each of you in just a little while, but want to share with you the note I sent Nico when he first put up his post: "Just want to say that I LOVE your blog post. It's so clear and well-written, it's so insightful, and it refers to such an essential aspect of dominant ideology."
I think a key aspect of the cult of individualism is not that individual responsibility or individuality cancels out the collective or the collective good, but is about the uses to which the idea of individualism has been put (it's a divisive ideology). Any discussion about individual responsibility must also include consideration of those external forces (external to the individual) that rein it in. Without considering that puts an unfair and impossible burden on the individual. Anyway, I'm now late for our first meeting so need to sign off!!!!
American individualism fosters a sense that success comes only from the individual. Success may have been through the help of others however at the end of the day individuals some may not be able to look past as Sylvie mentions the collective efforts of other. One example which can be applied is when you watch award s shows and then the nominee wins the award when they go up to pick the award and start the speech they usually say in their speech I thank god, or family members. You never hear about the collective efforts of teachers who mold the individual into who that person is today.
I believe that it is possible to reconcile this world which is working through a collective effort, the process that Andre illustrates is a clear cut foundation to reconciling the two worlds. Both sides need to work together mentor and mentee. Mentors are there to help mentee and learn from them. The knowledge becomes applicable after the mentee goes off into the real world.
As Andre mentioned it a is a long and lengthy process to make change and that the process is ingrain and to make change that would mean to ruptured existing relation between several people and results can be made differences.
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