Carol Shapiro said “when I worked with the incarcerated population, I gave everyone respect and in return, earned respect”. When I heard this in class, I was in shock and yet, proud. I was in shock because Carol has earned so much experience in her field at a young age and has received various opportunities/ positions throughout the years. Yet, she is one of the rare ones that did not abuse her powers nor back away from helping people in the community. I am not saying that every person who has an honorable position in society abuses their powers and forgets their mission to help people; I am simply stating that Carol has demonstrated to be quite a role model on how a leader should be. Not to say that anyone different from her isn’t a role model, but for today’s sake, she’ll be our example. On the other hand, I was proud of Carol. Proud because she was passionate to help, eager to make a change in the lives of others, and ready to take a risk. All of these traits made her who she is today, but we must not forget that for each risk and time taken to help the community, in the end she achieved massive results. One of the greatest accomplishments any one can undergo is helping someone and knowing you bettered their lives.
Additionally, I want to state that respect is an important feature we must all have when working in our internships. In many ways, respect gets people really far, not because it shows others that you are caring but, it demonstrates a humanistic quality in a person. I think a lot of problems that people face in areas of poverty is, finding someone who will treat them as a human being, not sub-human. The fact that we as fellows go into our agencies ready to help clients, says a lot about our desire, passion, and humanistic qualities in wanting to better lives . Similar to what Prof. Stein said to us in class, when people need help, a great skill to posses is observation of vocal tone, body language, and facial expression. We may not be as skilled as Carol when it comes to helping and creating programs to better families and communities, but what we do have is the time invested in our internships to learn the skills of what a person in need of help looks like (or would look like) and how to give them the help needed.
Moreover, I feel that when we help someone in our agencies, no matter our ethnicity or color, we should remember that no one is better than the other. Just because we are helping someone to get their lives on track does not mean that we are now the best, it just means that we are willing/ wanting to assist in helping others get their life on track.
It was interesting when Carol stated that an inmate told her “you’re white, what do you possibly know about helping me?” When she said this in class, it came to me as no shock. Majority of inmates in prison are minorities and when they see a white person, they don’t see someone with feeling. What they see is someone who stereo-typically is there to “oppress” them and make them feel like they don’t belong in society. This is something we as interns and people of various social programs need to tackle. The question is how? How do we get people in poverty, minorities, and overall people without a family/ support system to see that a white person and or an educated person, has the ability to help and better that persons life? The answer is, time and actions. Time because no one can gain trust in a matter of minutes and actions, because without actions, no one will see how valuable of a resource you are to them.
Furthermore, I want to mention a little about labeling. Labeling for the most part is the worst thing we can do to someone. When we label someone a criminal, drug addict, disgrace, or whatever people state, no one seems to notice the damages we cause with words. It is with this sort of language that we must put an end to labels and encourages participants to see their full potential (they are more than what others think of them). By encouraging these individuals and showing them their talent, we can change lives. However, we as interns and staff members at agencies aren’t always the solution to the problem. This is where family comes into play. With family as a support system, we can make troubled individuals better and best of all; we can set a family free from social constraints.
While labeling is a problem that needs fixing, we need to start understanding that programs don’t help the problem, they only alleviate the symptoms. Similar to our discussions early in the semester about the function and purpose of agencies, we came to the conclusion that while they do a great job in trying to tackle the issue, they only help the symptoms while dragging the problem at hand. My question then becomes what could we do to make agencies effective in assisting and solving the problem at hand? If family is the answer, then how to we get families to be apart of the troubled individuals life? The answer was Ms. Shapiro’s test/ experiment in the lower East side with La Bodega de la Familia. By creating pilot programs that last for a certain amount of time, we as helpers in the field of social justice can experiment with various ideas on what the answer could be to the problem. While many of us Verons aren’t so thrilled with the idea of testing the waters with programs that involve people in need of help, we need to understand that these pilot programs are in part, helping society understand what future programs and or the current program can do, and the results they can achieve by following a serious of methods, all complied through qualitative research.
I end this blog by quoting Carol Shapiro “be true to yourself”. The best thing anyone could be is true to themselves.If you believe in yourself and desire to make a change, it is in you to make wonders happen. While many out in the world aren’t as fortunate as many of us to have a support system compiled of family, friends, and loved ones, it is important that we show others that self confidence and optimism can take you far. In that note, I ask you, what have you done in your internships and/ or in your life to encourage someone to fulfill their potential and or better their life?
12 comments:
Thank you Jessica for your thoughtful post. I feel that the positive and cheerful attitude that I bring to my internship creates a warm atmosphere and allows participants to feel welcomed. There is nothing worse than feeling like nobody cares, so even if I cannot give them exactly what they need, at least they know that I try, and that they really are important to me.
I had some troubling years during my adolescence, but I have done through the most radical transformation. I have discovered my talents, my desires, and my passions, and I am learning more about myself and the world in which I live with every passing second. I cannot pinpoint exactly what the catalyst of change was, but I know that it had something to do with admiring the few people around me that were doing positive things in their life. Even though I had so many negative vibes around me, I was able to counteract them by focusing on the positive vibes. And this is how I know that I am helping my family and friends realize their own potential. Leading by example is the best way to make an impact on someone's life. Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world", and I believe this quote to be fact, that proves itself everyday.
Jessica,
Your blog was very well written in expressing your thoughts and connecting with the class discussion.
At my internship I have not encouraged someone to fulfill their full potential or to better their life. In my life, I hope I am encouraging my brother to fulfill his potential, I hope I am showing him a way to better his life.
Someone once told me, “In order to save someone else you must first save yourself.” The person meant that before you can help someone, you must have first helped yourself so that you are in a position to help others. I guess, for the moment I am in that stage, I am trying to “save myself” so that one day I can “save someone else.” While I am in that process of change, I hope those around me see that as a sign of encouragement. I hope my brother views my actions as a way to better himself and to fulfill his full potential.
At the moment this is the best I can answer the question. It may sound a little ambiguous when reading, but it is honest.
Thanks, Jessica, for reminding us of the many life lessons contained in Carol Shapiro's visit on Thursday. I have been reflecting on her visit, on your post and now these meaningful comments by Christina and Joseph. First, I'd like to commend you all for being what Ms. Shapiro encouraged us to be: risk-takers. As the comments pointed out, for many of you, even as you help others, right now you are your own project. Getting here to John Jay probably meant saying no to several alternative paths, most likely took a lot of strength to, as Christina says, find those around you who "were doing positive things in their lives." Thriving here at John Jay, as you all have done (evidenced by getting into the Vera Program), has required other risks: it is safer to sit in a large lecture class, take notes and ace the exam than it is to sit around a table facing a small number of talented, driven people, to struggle with seemingly unsolvable intellectual and social problems, to enter into new work situations in which you have neither authority nor expertise. You all have taken risks this year in becoming a fellow -- you should be proud of yourselves and each other. We are!
One of the things Ms. Shapiro emphasized was the importance of listening. It seems like the simplest thing and yet with each passing year I'm struck by how hard it is to truly listen. You only need to see the deterioration/polarization of our political system to see what happens when people in power stop listening. But everyone has the power to listen -- it is a completely democratic skill. One of the few!
Great responses all! I am thrilled that each and everyone of you found something to speak about in a personal level, and understood how going into the world trying to make a change means believing in yourself first, to then assist others. To comment back I would like to say the following:
Christina: I really agree with the Ghandi quote you stated, not only did he believe in peace and unity, but he made sure that the process to this goal was by realizing fault and improving ones self along the way. He was always telling others that to make change, was to believe in the goal itself and along the way it'll come. This is similar to all of our experiences in college, we come in nervous and wondering if we'll be someone in the end. But following our goals and challenging ourselves throughout the years we find that we too change, and in that change comes our ideas to become a tool of change in the world and /or our communities.
Going towards my post, this process is essential when helping others because it is important that we are honest to ourselves, know what we need to improve upon, to then help those in need of help. The fact that your are being a risk taker and helping those in CEO is a great example of the change you have made in your life.
Joseph: You are really enlightening in your post, it is very true, that for one to "save others they must first, save themselves". I find myself too on this path, I look for various ways to help others the best way I can. I guess that is why I enjoy advising freshman students so much at John Jay. I feel that when I sit and talk with them about their future I can be a positive outreach they can come to . However, I also look to help others more, and my reason for choosing Job Path was to learn more about a population I wasn't really taught too much about. Of course when you look to save others, it means learning about the "others" we label. But sadly, we are all the others, we are all in need of help in some way, whether it is that we know too little about something or if we are not fit to assist others for what ever reason. To say we are all fit to help is unrealistic, but to say that we look to help all those who need help and are willing to learn along the way, now we are being honest.
To add on, I look to be a positive help to my little brother, he may be 3 and skipping around the house singing cartoon tunes (at the moment), but I also want to make sure I can help him or at least prevent some mistakes. We all aren't super hero's in the world, we can't prevent the unknown from occurring, but we can help teach others to not make certain mistakes.
Prof. Reitz: Your post is great! I took a route in expressing the lessons we face when helping others and the experience we gain out of it. I must say that listening in that process to changing is a rather difficult process to endure. While it may seem like an easy process to undergo, it isn't what it looks like. To make a change or to help others means understanding the problems at hand and then viewing the various avenues one can take in order to solve or help the situation.
However, we may be stuck in our bubble of what is best in our opinion that we don't realize that our beliefs aren't always the answers. Therefore, making us realize that we must learn to adapt new thoughts or methods to help. This is usually the point in our lives that takes some time because it means breaking our mini world to then integrate a world of new ideals and methods that will in turn, better our mindset when trying to help others.
Once again thank you for your input. I look forward to reading what everyone else says.
“You’re white, what do you possibly know about helping me?” Not only have I heard comments like this, but I have experienced the looks. A few months ago I lost one of the youth that I had the pleasure of working with over the summer. He was murder in his neighborhood. When I went to his funeral I was one of two white people there, and I heard the whispers, “who is she?”, “what is she doing here?”, and I could feel the glares. Once I left the memorial, I was extremely upset and on the phone with my mom and sister. As I was walking a man walked towards me and then next to me, while he was walking next to me he was yelling in my ear. He was telling me that I did not belong in Harlem because I was white. His comments went on and on. I continued walking and tried to ignore him. This day may be a “yardstick” in my life. I have come to realize that people might have initial doubts about my intentions or ability to help them due to my appearance, but I love a challenge. I have learned that I can, with time, break down peoples’ walls and gain their trust. The best part of being able to work with individuals who think, “you’re white, what do you possibly know about helping me?” is to try and understand where they are coming from, to share my life experiences with them as they share theirs with me, and to show them that appearance is not what determines a persons capabilities.
Next, I would like to just briefly address the mentioning of labeling. Like you Jessica, I too feel strongly towards the labeling theory. Labeling is extremely crucial for how a person views themselves and labeling comes from a variety of sources; some of those sources have a larger impact on a person than others. I would like to add the labeling is not always negative, labeling can also be positive. If a mother labels a daughter the smartest daughter, then the daughter will work to fulfill that label. The idea of positive labeling should be considered as a tool to be used, along with strong family involvement, in re-entry and rehabilitative programs. As La Bodega de Familia states in some of the articles that we read, they use a strength based approach. The combination of a strength based approach, family, and the use of effective positive labeling, I believe it, could really help people to have a strong opportunity live a life of a law abiding citizen.
Jessica,
Thank you for your post! I enjoyed reading it.
I liked Carol Shapiro’s comment about taking risk. Taking risk is challenging and threatening. It is important to be willing to “jump from that cliff” and to be ready for new changes. The unawareness of future might scare me and, at the same time, it excites me. I am the one who is ready to take risk and I love doing it!
I cannot say that I did a lot to change someone’s life in my internship because of the internship restrictions. But I try to influence on the students at school. Very often, I meet brilliant students at the SEEK, during my math sessions, and serving as Peer Ambassador at multiple events. Those students are brilliant but lazy. They get As easily in their classes and do not want to challenge themselves. I encourage them to apply to amazing programs, such as Vera Program and McNair Program, where they can challenge themselves in the class of the straight As students, meet professionals from non-profit and governmental organizations, and students from all over the world. Sadly, not of all those students listen to my advice. Some of them just smile back to me and continue their already-set routine.
Family support means a lot. Even though my family is thousands of miles away from me, I feel their love and support every day. When I was at my senior year of the high school, my best friend lost her father. Three years later, her mother died. She was quiet, she did not share her feelings, but I could feel her pain. I asked my parents to invite her for weekends and family holidays so she was not alone. I am not sure if it helped a lot. But my support and support of my family helped her to live through those difficulties in her life.
A heartfelt and interesting post Jessica, thank you.
I want to draw some attention to a statement that you made in paragraph four, which is, “majority of inmates in prison are minorities and when they see a white person, they don’t see someone with feeling. What they see is someone who stereo-typically is there to “oppress” them and make them feel like they don’t belong in society” While I think it might be counterproductive to speculate on the supposed thoughts of inmates or anyone for that matter, I think that it is very important that that statement be unpacked and discussed. I don’t think that it was your intention to indicate that all inmates in prison picture white people as the oppressor or that all colored inmates would not accept help from a white person. Having said that, the impression that the statement gives is one that places the underprivileged minority as resistant to progress and as haters of all things white. Even if there might be some kernel of truth to the statement I think that it is important to discuss it and to maybe give some alternate explanations.
I do not think that an inmate sees a white person who is trying to help them as an oppressor. In fact I think that they see any person who is trying to help them, black, white or any other variation, not as an oppressor but as people offering them pity rather human respect, which is, in most cases, true. But inmates view white people as particularly disingenuous, not because they are white, but because in their minds white people could not possibly understand the circumstances that brought them to prison in the first place. “If you don’t have an understanding of what brought me here, how are you going to help me?” So maybe inmates are more receptive to people of color, but in most cases they are resistant to all who provide them with pity instead of respect. It is also assumed that you can respect me and where I am coming from if you can understand it. That is not to say that white people cannot respect an inmate, in fact from what I gather of the conversation that the class had with Carol is that the reason she was successful was because she offered the inmates she worked with respect.
Chad Out!
I understand Carol Shapiro’s point about passing on ideas such as La Bodega de la Familia. I think it is a good idea that would ultimately foster innovation. Her experiment was a success, and I think she did the right thing by passing on her idea to someone else. I think this passing on of ideas may have helped to inform the decisions that many other organizations have made thereafter.
I also agree with her point that we should be true to ourselves. Like her, I think that if we truly desire to make a positive change, then many things are possible. Although I do not have contact with clients at my agency, I have tried my best to be efficient, as well as creative, even while my mentor is away or busy. Not only do I take the extra load off of her by taking the initiative, but I also learn a lot as I step into new roles.
Great responses and analysis! I want to comment to the following:
Katie: WOW! Your experience of going to your students funeral after he was murdered is strong. People just looking at you and whispering to others "what is she doing here" really puts the cherry on the pie.
To want to help others that are not like ourselves is a label we don't like putting on anyone. But in communities where people view themselves as the constant victim and then view educated individuals as someone not "fit" nor deserving to help them, is something we need to change. The victim role isn't always the card to play freely, and yet, in areas where poverty seems to be prevalent it is something people hold on to. The mind set that an educated person who isn't living in poverty trying to help makes it look like the people there are a sympathy case, rather than a "hey give me your hand and I will help you better your life".
Nadiya: Your comment on trying to help in the SEEK department and people not always listening to your advise is something we seem to have in common. Working in advisement makes me proud to know that I can help the freshman population settle into John Jay without feeling out of place. However, some students just seem to walk their own path and advice to them isn't something they take seriously. I must admit, it bothers me at times when I see such a great student not listen to my advice, but then again it is a challenge I enjoy going through, it makes me re-evaluate my effectiveness and helps me to improve my skills.
Chad: I really enjoyed your response! I believe there was a misunderstanding from my blog, I don't mean to say that inmates view whites as "oppressors" and for that I apologize for my writing. Otherwise, I agree with what you wrote, respect is the way to go. Carol went in to the prison system and helped people in their and her experience was filled with people being treated poorly. As a result of poor treatment either from inmates to guards or vice versa, she sought to make things right and make respect universal to everyone. This I believe is what made her so effective in her job, she didn't walk in there with a title and care less about others, she instead went in and changed the system by making respect and understanding a priority.
Jamie: Idea spreading is exactly what Carol did to make the changes she desired, to occur. The fact that ideas is a powerful tool in making change or improving on old thoughts, makes it worth while to be creative to figure out how to assist those in need of help. Additionally, we may not all be helping someone on a one on one basis in our internships , but the fact that we go in there to learn and do work, demonstrates the behind the scenes work that makes NPO's so effective.
Thank you for your comments.
I want to commend everyone for taking the risk of putting so many raw feelings on the table. In particular, the dialogue that Jessica and Chad have begun on race is a potent and scary one to unpack. It speaks to the very core of how we imagine ourselves and others, and how that self-identity may be skewered when how we are perceived differs from what we think we project. In human relations, this is where the rubber meets the road: for therapists it is the transference/countertransference, and for people choosing to work in the trenches of social injustice, it might be the difference between making a positive impact and simply adding to the background noise.
What I keep remembering about Carol’s talk was her emphasis on authenticity, honesty, and respect. To make eye contact, to not dissemble about what you know and don’t know, to value the person you are dealing with: these seem like simple enough efforts. But what so often complicates the exchange are the preconceived ideas that we cannot avoid having about others (and they about us), whether these are social labels we have internalized or personal experiences that have created blind spots in our vision. I offer an example having to do with race that I experienced recently with a Latina client who I have been seeing for three years.
My client brought in a dream in which her boyfriend was in bed with her and “a white woman”, and ultimately chose the white woman over her. I won’t go into further details, or her subsequent analysis of the dream, but I will share that part of me was flummoxed because, as the client’s skin-to my mind-was only slightly darker than my own, I had never thought to even ask her what role race or ethnicity might have played in her life and her subsequent feelings about herself and others (it turned out to be quite enormous). That was my blind spot. Boy did I feel stupid, like Steven Colbert’s “I don’t see race” character. I now have no doubt that my blind spot was a major dissociation, probably masking my fears about grappling with race/ethnicity issues in our relationship, confronting head on what she might feel about being “helped” by a white therapist. When I finally did open up this dead area in our communication, I learned so much more about my client, myself, and the more general strains under which such relationships operate.
To echo and expand on Carol’s narrative once again, I would say that risk-taking is not only about venturing outside of one’s comfort zone in the world but having the bravery to look at the places inside ourselves that impede our best efforts to do good in that world.
That was a very intelligent, articulate and multifaceted post. I have always tried to live according to the golden rule of " treat others how you would have them treat you", and respecting those with whom you interact with is certainly a critical component to that.
Though I do not know if involvement of the family is the key to solving many problems, I do believe that having respect for those with whom you interact with may go a long way to solving many problems. One of the biggest dilemmas I have faced within my internship is, for lack of a better word, non-compliance.
I interact with people who have just been arrested and given bail, so as one can imagine they are not too pleased to be talking with anyone who looks to be a part of the justice system. On multiple occasions the help that I may offer an individual is flat out denied because I look like a lawyer or another person in the machine which has put them into the position they are in. I do everything I can to explain to them that I am there to help but due to a misunderstanding or previous experience with CJA there is little I can do.
Also I think determination is another key component to transforming the justice system. Many people I have observed have become worn down or worn out by their involvement in the Justice system. It was refreshing to see a person who had a dream from childhood and followed through with it and is still fighting for what she aimed to be doing.
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